As moms, why do we constantly second-guess ourselves?

Go with your gut and stick to your values. Two things that I have learned over the past 1.5 years as a first time mom, as well as my 7 months writing my own blog.

I recently found myself faced with a decision whether to go against my own personal values, just because it might be the right thing to do professionally, or stand my ground and simply say no. After a night of second-guessing myself, I chose to stand by my values hoping that, by making this decision, I would be perceived as a more reputable and trustworthy advocate when it came to future projects.

Since becoming a mom, I have discovered that second-guessing myself has become somewhat second nature. I find that I am constantly bombarded with outside influences that, whether I openly admit it or not, weigh in on the decisions that I make for myself and my family. Whether it's the length of my son's hair or the fact that I want him to go to a certain school, these little "influencers" are constantly in my ear. Which is about as pleasant as a swarm of mosquitos on warm summer night.

I'm not sure why as moms, we constantly second-guess ourselves or why we sometimes dismiss our instincts and make decisions based on outside influences. Maybe it's because we are scared to death to make a mistake, to scar our child for life if God forbid, we let them watch 20 minutes of Yo Gabba Gabba while we brush our teeth or use the bathroom alone for once. Or maybe it's because becoming a parent doesn't come with an all encompassing instruction manual with a checklist and scorecard in the back so we repeatedly ask ourselves if we are doing the right thing. Wondering if we are being good moms.

Or just maybe, it's because becoming a mom instantly propels you under the microscope for anyone and everyone to scrutinize your every move, to give you advice and let you know "When I was raising my kids, we didn't worry about [insert 1950's or 60's thought process here]" or "You really shouldn't let him do that [insert any number of 'thats' here]".

According to Jen Singer, creator of the popular site, MommaSaid, Today’s moms second-guess themselves because the bar for parenting has reached all-time highs–and it’s damn near impossible to reach it.

So after taking all this in, I have finally learned that I have to stick to my values and listen to my instincts when it comes to making decisions for myself and for my family. I need to trust that whatever decision I make, it will ultimately be the right decision. Because it was my decision. And every time I have listened to my instincts I have always been right.

The same theory holds true when it comes to blogging. Stay true to yourself and ultimately that will make you happy.



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