I feel bad for the little mucus maker, who I lovingly now call "The Snot Faucet". He cannot breathe so sleep has been somewhat of a struggle. He cannot tell me that his head, throat or ears hurt, since his vocabulary is limited to the likes of ball or da-dee. And wiping the ever dripping snot flowing from his nose is almost more of a wrestling match than changing his diaper.
Over the past few days at home with "The Snot Faucet" I have realized that I just may owe a few moms out there an apology. You see, before I had my little rock star, I would see these mothers toting their kids through stores with crusty snot-filled noses and I would hold an intense internal dialog about how anyone could tote her kid around like that. My kid would never be seen with a snot encrusted nose. Why didn't they just wipe it?
But, as with many other things that motherhood changes, so has my compassion and understanding for all things kiddo.
Because now I get it.
Don't get me wrong, I'm still not letting "The Snot Faucet" run all willy nilly – I'm just saying, "I get it". I get that it's almost impossible to keep up with the endless flow of snot and the piles of Boogie Wipes that seem to be everywhere. And that when you do finally get up the nerve to adventure out into the world, that it's not going to be a day at the spa. That the moment you step out of the car, the flow will intensify and then where do you put all the snot-filled wipes that seem to fly out of the pack at an astonishing clip? Back in your bag? Just hold on to it? Because, last I checked there wasn't a pitch can on every aisle of the grocery store, which is what I require when out and about with the "The Snot Faucet".
I get that it's practically impossible not to have a thin layer of dried crusty snot smeared across his little face from ear to ear. For some reason these kiddos just don't want their noses wiped, thus becoming a moving target, shaking their heads from side to side in protest. It's not easy to make sure it doesn't end up in their eyes, ears, hair, etc.
Becoming a parent is a humbling experience. I never thought pre-kiddo, that poop, vomit and snot would be hot topics of conversation . But not only are they hot topics - they practically rule my life. So now, I get it. And I would like to publicly apologize to all those moms I have so foolishly judged. So here goes:
Dear mom I saw in the grocery store with a snotty-nosed kid in tow whom I secretly judged,
I totally get it and I apologize for any judgement I may have passed on you. I am humbled by my inability to keep up with the almost super-human amount of snot that my son seems to ooze on a consistent basis. I understand why your child has those really gross stains all over his shirt. I now know that you didn't just forget to do the laundry and that your child has not been wearing the same shirt all week. I understand that its possible that you feverishly rummaged through your bag looking for a tissue or a wipe just to realize that you left them on the kitchen table (where they were readily available 15 minutes ago) and then became completely desperate and used his shirt to stop the flow - if only for a minute. I understand that you can't just hold up in your house until the kiddo stops oozing and that things need to get done.
I totally get it. And I hope that you will accept my sincere apology.
– Mother of The Snot Faucet
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